Joke of the Day for
A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
"I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.
Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.
She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
"Oh, no!" the blonde shouted in dismay., "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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Yo mama so ugly ...
... she put the Boogie man outta business.
... she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt.
... when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already."
... she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure.
... minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said, "Yes, now let's go and bury her ..."
... they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.
... when they took her to the beautician it took 10 hours ... and that was just for the quote.
... yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
... she put Marilyn Manson out of business
... she was a guard at Snake Mountain.
... they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock.
... even Harry Knowles refused to date her.
... they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty.
... she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.
... yo papa throws the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.
... she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.
... we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.
... her shadow gave up.
... people at the Zoo pay cash so they don't have to see her.
... her mama had to be pissed drunk just to breast feed her
... when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.
... hotel managers use her picture to keep away the rats.
... instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.
... they gave her a middle name ... "accident."
... she fell out of the Ugly Tree, and hit every branch on the way down.
... when she walked into the haunted house, she came back out with a job application.
... when she was born the doc smacked her face. |
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